A Never Ending Race

If you ever thought I’m a pessimist, worrywart and crepehanger, you haven’t met Yan Monchatre yet. Actually, you have. The illustrator and cartoonist works for the Bangkok Post (among others such as TIME). Sketch above looks familiar?

Problem is, such biting inspiration doesn’t come from nowhere. You not only need a special eye. Frenchman Yan, a longtime resident of Bangkok, describes himself as “ultra-pessimistico-maniaco-paranoid-depressive. I’m cureless,” he says.

Isn’t that a promising state of mind to make life in Bangkok even more demanding. Each time I bump into Yan the skies seem to darken with Armageddon lurking around the corner … Here’s a Bangkok fiction Yan wrote for us: Bangkok in 2015 – surprised?

By Yan Monchatre

A Preemptive Anticipatory Fiction- 2015; a Routine Day in the Life of the Galloping White Rabbit in Wonderland:

Today’s (non-exhaustive) schedule: a) Finish the sketch for the Far Eastern Evening Post before noon; b) Bring that CD over to Dehlicacy Restaurant without further delay; c] get that brief for a web animation from Lotus Entertainment; d) Resend the graphics for Blue Heaven Tropical Resort in just another format; d) start the 12-pix Chinese zodiac commission for the tabloid weekly free supplement in the Asian Economic Tribune; e] Make the requested corrections for the Great Grande Deluxe Pacifico Hotel’s soap packaging.

Home part, done. External part, ready, go. Protective helmet, checked. Bulletproof vest, checked. Survival kit, checked. Stay frosty! Get some! Move! Move! Move!

Watch on the right. Watch on the left. Watch up. Watch down. Run. Avoid the odd looking hairless cat, might got the feline flu.

Run.

Catch a glimpse of the ad for the spa resort – A Relaxing Atmosphere Within Your Grasp! Run. Bypass the pick-up truck full of the purple faction’s guards equipped with steel bars.

Run.

Avoid the pla ra smelling homemade bombs. Duck. Run faster. Faster!

Faster!

Warning – incoming OG-7V thermobaric fragmentation rocket from the blue-violet faction’s volunteers ambushed behind the partially destroyed dawk mai building. Duck.

Catch the canopy for the Love Forever Jewelry Boutique on the façade of the Grand Prestige Imperialissimo MegaCenter.

Run.

Ignore the burning tyres at the intersection of Thanon Sabaidee. Run. Get that brief from Lotus Entertainment. The brief – A posh mood with a lounge feeling / colorful / original / beautiful people / a cozy interior with an easygoing atmosphere/ lavish touch.

Okay.

Had to be done yesterday.

Okay. Run more, Marine. Move! Move! Move! Remember to get that software for making the requested corrections on the Tropicalissimo Deluxe Magic Tour graphic.

Run.

Cut through Soi Sawan for avoiding the lilac faction’s sniper ambushed behind the Santiphap Tower with a SIG-Sauer SSG 3000 bolt-action sniper rifle.

Run faster.

Avoid the lavender faction’s guards equipped with RPG-29 Vampir reloadable launchers. Avoid the TBG-29 thermobaric rocket.

Too late.

Ignore the concrete fragments in the face.

Lose the burning shirt.

Run more.

Remember to finish that graphic for Sabai Sabai Body Care Products. Run.

Ignore the private military contractors from Nemesys International Private Security Firm equipped with Uzi submachine guns.

Run.

Get that tasty khao pad boo from around the corner.

Avoid the bullet hail from the orchid faction’s guards equipped with both M16 gas-operated rotating bolt semi-automatic rifles and AK-47 Kalashnikov gas-operated 7.62mm assault rifles. Forget about the tasty khao pad boo.

Run! Run! Run!

Back home. Bypass Khun Watkhanyudul Abawdit, the watchman. Perhaps a spy from the mauve faction.

Electricity, cut.

Water, cut.

Get those canned sardines.

Sleep. Get down the rabbit hole.

Tomorrow’s another day.

Hooah! Stay frosty!