Apolitical Thai Hangover Causes & Cures

The real art these days in Thailand is to say something by not saying it. What cannot be said can still be said, just chose a careful wording. Some say though that some are still too cautious. As a trusted friend advised: “The boundaries have been stretched enough to allow you more space to roam.” Well, I don’t trust the “Thai spring” yet. There’s no Thai spring far and wide and I wouldn’t be surprised if all of a sudden reactionary hard-hitting forces take over again, killing all dissent and throwing the kingdom back into even darker ages. Common sense is hard to find in these divisive times. Just look what’s going on with our costly dowsing rods aka GT200.

They’re a con, a fraud, a crime, reports the Bangkok Post, but our honorable army defiantly insists they’re working. It’s encouraging to say the least that there’s an open conflict between the civilian and army leadership. Our dear prime minister, all diplomat, implicitly called the dowsing rods a fraud. Without actually being aware of it even our dear army chef confirmed they’re hardly working. The device had performed some 300 rounds successfully over the past few years, Anupong Paojinda was quoted as saying. Some 535 devices are used in the violence-plagued south. Do the math. Meaning, roughly every second device worked once over the past few years …

There’s actually no difference between a soldier trying to detect bombs holding a GT200 and a Big Mac … This is Thailand. If you dare to and have the backing you can just stand there and say something is true even though the whole world knows it is not. Anyway, this blatant mockery of sanity and reason makes it an even bigger pleasure to introduce Chef Tummy, an American and chef dedicated to adventurous Thai cooking who will hopefully become a regular writer on aB.com with his focus on Thai food culture. Trying to stay sane we have to have some more positive content on this site. Got a politics hangover? It’s good to stay away from politics – Thai politics! – once in a while. And Chef Tummy may have an answer or two:

By Chef Tummy of Chef Tummy’s Thai Cooking School

Drink This, It Will Give You Power! … Oops, I did it again. Last night I drank Thai herb and honey-infused medicinal liquor called yaa dawng with a Thai friend. This man is the duke of drinkers, the sultan of shots, the baron of booze. We sang songs and drank shots and talked about the world and women, although not in that order. I was assured that the yaa dawng would give me “power” although this morning I felt like my battery and brain had been drained.

Travelers to Thailand are often pleased with warmth of the people and their willingness to bridge cultural gaps, one drink at a time. These jovial offerings of various types of alcohol are given with the best intentions. But the morning after can leave the drinker with a queasy stomach and regret over exploring a culture too closely through spirited drinking.

What can the alcohol adventurer use to appease a queasy stomach the next morning when a robust gulping of native liquor drunk with abandon has left you with the feeling like your head is full of rocks and you are on a bouncy road? What do native drinkers in Thailand do to rid themselves of the uncomfortable feeling of the dreaded morning after the night before? Here is a summary of some of more lethal Thai beverages and some recommendations for calming the aching head and tummy troubles the day after.

What’s Your Poison?

It always seems to start when I think: “When is the next chance I’ll have to drink a homemade moonshine that was cooked in an old lawnmower engine and strained through a gym sock?” Then one thing leads to another and one drink to another. These delightful but dangerous cross-cultural booze-ups can come in many forms.

On one visit to Northeastern Thailand to observe a rice planting festival, I was offered homemade moonshine called lao theuan or “wild liquor.” The name should have been warning enough. When I asked for the recipe for the moonshine, it was described as a mixture of “things we had around the house” which I inferred meant sticky rice and sugar, plus, well, let your imagination run wild. With the help of this “liquid phrase book” I made many new friends, sang songs, and told stories, or so I was told the next day. I wasn’t the drunkest one in the crowd, either. Some of the other merrymakers who vigorously enjoyed the lao theuan were seen blissfully asleep in drainage ditches, or slumped unconscious, tied with rope to the driver on a scooter so they wouldn’t fall off, or having prolonged discussions with water buffalos.

Thai Chang (or Elephant brand) beer with 6.4% alcohol can make you feel like your head has been sandwiched between the two elephants on the label or that your liver has trampled by elephants in a National Geographic special. Overindulgence in the weighty Chang beer can lead to what is called a “Chang-over” – a feeling of lethargy and need for a saline drip in your arm.

Yaa Dawng – “Pickled Liquor” or Liquid Lobotomy?

Some Thai people have much expertise in the making of alcohol-based medicinal herbal folk remedies they call lao yaa dawng. Lao means “liquor,” yaa means “medicine” and dawng means “pickled” in this traditional recipe. Although many formulas exist, they have in common the practice of steeping dried roots, berries, herbs and seeds in rice alcohol to make a medicinal tonic. The liquor acts as a solvent to extract the health benefits in the other ingredients. The alcohol also preserves the tonic by pickling the mixture to help prevent it from spoiling. Too much of the rough alcohol elixir may also pickle the drinker, so most of these mixtures are best consumed in moderation. Drinkers who survive an overzealous drinking bout of lao yaa dawng might translate the Thai words into English as “blurred vision” or “liver damage” or “liquid lobotomy.”

No matter how it is described, the result is a flavored, tea-colored tonic thought to have positive health effects ranging from increased blood circulation to heightened libido or as a cure for aching limbs. Drinking sociable drams of yaa dawng can also lead to temporary feelings of enlightenment, inappropriate dancing with other peoples’ spouses or a need to call your embassy for medical evacuation to a liver treatment center, immediately.

The Morning After Cure: Food, Fluids & a Cooling Fan

It is the morning after the night before. Your head feels like there is a marching band inside playing “When The Saints Come Marching In” and your stomach is doing somersaults. Here are some cures for this passing hell, Thai style.

Some Thais take a restorative bowl of boiled rice soup with small pork meatballs seasoned with garlic and coriander – filling and easy to digest after an evening of imbibing.

The chillies and fresh vegetables like garlic, holy basil, and spring onion in the Thai dish called drunkard’s noodles (pad khii mao) help replace the vitamins and minerals you destroyed the night before when you were singing “Hotel California” off-key. The dish is loaded with chillies and thus thought to resuscitate a drinker or take the edge off a hangover. The chilli itself has lots of Vitamin C and B6 as well as iron, potassium and magnesium, all of which get washed out with the booze.

Try a banana shake – the vitamins and potassium in the shake will replace what you lost during your exploration of Thai culture, one drink at a time. What you really need is a large volume of non-alcoholic liquids, some food to replace the nutrients you left behind when you lost your mind and finished the bottle, and a nice long nap under a cooling fan. Wake me up when the next batch of yaa dawng is ready.