The real art these days in Thailand is to say something by not saying it. What cannot be said can still be said, just chose a careful wording. Some say though that some are still too cautious. As a trusted friend advised: “The boundaries have been stretched enough to allow you more space to roam.” Well, I don’t trust the “Thai spring” yet. There’s no Thai spring far and wide and I wouldn’t be surprised if all of a sudden reactionary hard-hitting forces take over again, killing all dissent and throwing the kingdom back into even darker ages. Common sense is hard to find in these divisive times. Just look what’s going on with our costly dowsing rods aka GT200.

They’re a con, a fraud, a crime, reports the Bangkok Post, but our honorable army defiantly insists they’re working. It’s encouraging to say the least that there’s an open conflict between the civilian and army leadership. Our dear prime minister, all diplomat, implicitly called the dowsing rods a fraud. Without actually being aware of it even our dear army chef confirmed they’re hardly working. The device had performed some 300 rounds successfully over the past few years, Anupong Paojinda was quoted as saying. Some 535 devices are used in the violence-plagued south. Do the math. Meaning, roughly every second device worked once over the past few years …

There’s actually no difference between a soldier trying to detect bombs holding a GT200 and a Big Mac … This is Thailand. If you dare to and have the backing you can just stand there and say something is true even though the whole world knows it is not. Anyway, this blatant mockery of sanity and reason makes it an even bigger pleasure to introduce Chef Tummy, an American and chef dedicated to adventurous Thai cooking who will hopefully become a regular writer on aB.com with his focus on Thai food culture. Trying to stay sane we have to have some more positive content on this site. Got a politics hangover? It’s good to stay away from politics – Thai politics! – once in a while. And Chef Tummy may have an answer or two:

By Chef Tummy of Chef Tummy’s Thai Cooking School

Drink This, It Will Give You Power! … Oops, I did it again. Last night I drank Thai herb and honey-infused medicinal liquor called yaa dawng with a Thai friend. This man is the duke of drinkers, the sultan of shots, the baron of booze. We sang songs and drank shots and talked about the world and women, although not in that order. I was assured that the yaa dawng would give me “power” although this morning I felt like my battery and brain had been drained.

Travelers to Thailand are often pleased with warmth of the people and their willingness to bridge cultural gaps, one drink at a time. These jovial offerings of various types of alcohol are given with the best intentions. But the morning after can leave the drinker with a queasy stomach and regret over exploring a culture too closely through spirited drinking.

What can the alcohol adventurer use to appease a queasy stomach the next morning when a robust gulping of native liquor drunk with abandon has left you with the feeling like your head is full of rocks and you are on a bouncy road? What do native drinkers in Thailand do to rid themselves of the uncomfortable feeling of the dreaded morning after the night before? Here is a summary of some of more lethal Thai beverages and some recommendations for calming the aching head and tummy troubles the day after.

What’s Your Poison?

It always seems to start when I think: “When is the next chance I’ll have to drink a homemade moonshine that was cooked in an old lawnmower engine and strained through a gym sock?” Then one thing leads to another and one drink to another. These delightful but dangerous cross-cultural booze-ups can come in many forms.

On one visit to Northeastern Thailand to observe a rice planting festival, I was offered homemade moonshine called lao theuan or “wild liquor.” The name should have been warning enough. When I asked for the recipe for the moonshine, it was described as a mixture of “things we had around the house” which I inferred meant sticky rice and sugar, plus, well, let your imagination run wild. With the help of this “liquid phrase book” I made many new friends, sang songs, and told stories, or so I was told the next day. I wasn’t the drunkest one in the crowd, either. Some of the other merrymakers who vigorously enjoyed the lao theuan were seen blissfully asleep in drainage ditches, or slumped unconscious, tied with rope to the driver on a scooter so they wouldn’t fall off, or having prolonged discussions with water buffalos.

Thai Chang (or Elephant brand) beer with 6.4% alcohol can make you feel like your head has been sandwiched between the two elephants on the label or that your liver has trampled by elephants in a National Geographic special. Overindulgence in the weighty Chang beer can lead to what is called a “Chang-over” – a feeling of lethargy and need for a saline drip in your arm.

Yaa Dawng – “Pickled Liquor” or Liquid Lobotomy?

Some Thai people have much expertise in the making of alcohol-based medicinal herbal folk remedies they call lao yaa dawng. Lao means “liquor,” yaa means “medicine” and dawng means “pickled” in this traditional recipe. Although many formulas exist, they have in common the practice of steeping dried roots, berries, herbs and seeds in rice alcohol to make a medicinal tonic. The liquor acts as a solvent to extract the health benefits in the other ingredients. The alcohol also preserves the tonic by pickling the mixture to help prevent it from spoiling. Too much of the rough alcohol elixir may also pickle the drinker, so most of these mixtures are best consumed in moderation. Drinkers who survive an overzealous drinking bout of lao yaa dawng might translate the Thai words into English as “blurred vision” or “liver damage” or “liquid lobotomy.”

No matter how it is described, the result is a flavored, tea-colored tonic thought to have positive health effects ranging from increased blood circulation to heightened libido or as a cure for aching limbs. Drinking sociable drams of yaa dawng can also lead to temporary feelings of enlightenment, inappropriate dancing with other peoples’ spouses or a need to call your embassy for medical evacuation to a liver treatment center, immediately.

The Morning After Cure: Food, Fluids & a Cooling Fan

It is the morning after the night before. Your head feels like there is a marching band inside playing “When The Saints Come Marching In” and your stomach is doing somersaults. Here are some cures for this passing hell, Thai style.

Some Thais take a restorative bowl of boiled rice soup with small pork meatballs seasoned with garlic and coriander – filling and easy to digest after an evening of imbibing.

The chillies and fresh vegetables like garlic, holy basil, and spring onion in the Thai dish called drunkard’s noodles (pad khii mao) help replace the vitamins and minerals you destroyed the night before when you were singing “Hotel California” off-key. The dish is loaded with chillies and thus thought to resuscitate a drinker or take the edge off a hangover. The chilli itself has lots of Vitamin C and B6 as well as iron, potassium and magnesium, all of which get washed out with the booze.

Try a banana shake – the vitamins and potassium in the shake will replace what you lost during your exploration of Thai culture, one drink at a time. What you really need is a large volume of non-alcoholic liquids, some food to replace the nutrients you left behind when you lost your mind and finished the bottle, and a nice long nap under a cooling fan. Wake me up when the next batch of yaa dawng is ready.

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There is a limit to what the human mind can absorb. Especially in Thai politics. Hearing the names of Abhisit, Thaksin and the likes just gives me a bad mood these days. The latest newsletter by the one sent into exile a year ago on February 6th was a lonely bright light amid cheats and pretenders. But hey, I still feel good, and this is why:

Am eating nothing but bread and homemade cheese products made from pure natural ingredients only, with no preservatives or artificial additives, produced from fresh, straight-from-the-farm organic milk – and yes, made in the heart of Bangkok. I’m living on Thai cheese and yogurt these days. And it feels great.

Once in a while you just have to ignore these political clowns out here and enjoy the beautiful sides Thailand has to offer. One of them is fresh Thai cheese. Yes, I’m a cheese addict, and to know that from now on I can get natural homemade cheese at decent prices delivered to my doorsteps is kind of the best news of this year so far.

Well, it’s cheese made from fresh organic milk that’s delivered from the north, but the Homemade Cheese Co. is actually managed by some perfectionist Israelis who know their trade. Manager Elad Bryn – yep, almost like the Google Brin! – gave me a nice intro into the making of cheese in the middle of Bangkok. Well, they have their own cheese chef and by now deliver Bangkok 5-star hotels and private customers with their prime milk products.

Make no mistake, we’re not talking about old aged cheese, but fresh cheese milk products – of a quality that even Western chefs at top hotels here in Bangkok want nothing else anymore than the yogurt, quark and fresh cheese of the Thai-Israeli company. Chefs, says Elad, love his sour yogurt, while I’d go for the plain yogurt at 80 baht half the liter – that’s right, the prices are more than fair.

My favorite? The beautifully refreshing Tzatziki Greek Yogurt & Cucumber Dip. You’ll get hooked, I promise. They got a firm and a soft feta cheese on offer – the soft one has a surprising creamy texture. And try the hearty cottage cheese. And the Garlic & Dill White Quark Cheese … with only 3% fat lighter, healthier and more natural than cream cheese.

Yogurt flavors range from blueberry to strawberry to mango to peach and and, while the fresh cheese is enriched with green onions, olives, smoked salmon, chili (!) and and. Or care for mascarpone? The menu with contact and ordering details is available here – and again, prices are more than fair given the exorbitant price you have to pay for imported cheese here in Thailand. And milk’s not cheap here at some 30 baht for the pasteurized liter …

This “inequality” was one of the reasons why the Israelis set up this venture. Cheese is very expensive here – even the worst quality from Australia. And well, it’s a green business bringing jobs and makes sense. Still, lots of determination was needed tells me an Israeli partner – just to mention to get the FDA approval.

Elad’s happy with the response to their dairy products – they can see it in sales growth and customer satisfaction. Homemade Cheese doesn’t want to grow too quickly to ensure utmost quality. It’s a family business, with a cheese dairy in the heart of Bangkok. And yes, my bet is you can order a cheese with any ingredient – they’ll try to satisfy any customer. Reads the brochure: “Our chefs keep an open mind and are ready to work with you to create a whole new product to suit a certain taste or match the requirements of any cuisine.”

That’s why they’re working in close cooperation with chefs of major hotels, getting their feedback and adapting production. Once a product is on the level of their expectation, they market it.

Interesting as well to have regional delicacies such as Lebanese Hummus and Haloumi on the menu, a traditional cypriot cheese not too different from a soya product you can buy here locally. Haloumi is a eaten fried or barbecued like a steak and usually marinated with olive oil. It is is Cyprus’ national dish – also called the king of cheese.

Lebanon, Greece, Cyprus, Israel … Homemade Cheese is a Thai-Israeli-Mediterranean cheesery so to say, right here in the kingdom where cheese is still considered a ridiculously priced luxury product.

No longer, thanks to this determined family business producing dairy products of quality, texture and naturalness you’ll hardly find back home. You won’t find their products in supermarkets. Reason being with the exception of Foodlands they all switch off their aircons during the night. You won’t recognize a yogurt the next day when it’s not full of preservatives and such.

It’s premium quality dairy products they make at Homemade Cheese – always keeping your health in mind. And I’m living proof for that. Haven’t felt that good in a long time after being on a dairy diet.

By the way, Thailand just had a Milk Festival with a celebrity dressed up as a bunny cow … Who says milk’s no fun.

+++ Download the price list here. For details call 02 439 45 10 or order by email.

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As we all know, being a wine lover in Thailand is an elitist thing. Imports being taxed over 200%, because wine lovers are considered to be snobs who can afford any price. An average bottle sets you back at least the double of the price you pay in the West. Or even in Vietnam or Cambodia for that, former colonies still honoring their former master’s way of life.

Some good news for a change. There’s a fierce price war between local alcohol producers and importers looming. Prices could fall, partially at least. Starting 2010 the Asean Free Trade Area Afta will be fully established. Afta reduces and – for some products – entirely drops import taxes. Darn free trade and globalization. Meaning imported alcohol will also be cheaper. Import duty on alcoholic beverages is cut down to zero, nullifying the customs tariff.

That doesn’t go down well with our purists who not only pushed for laws that reinterpret what a beer calendar can look like. The radicals of Chamlong Srimuang’s Santi Asoke sect successfully prevented legal Thai companies producing legal alcoholic products from listing on the Thai stock exchange. Perfectly consistent with his yellow insurrection against Thai democracy. But change is in the air:

Imported alcohol will be cheaper, which will add to the social problems associated with alcohol in this beautiful kingdom, a TAN report tells us. Truth being, alcoholism has always been a dire problem around here. But neither social purity campaigns nor a prohibition solve that problem, and don’t you love the blurred bottle of whiskey or beer in TV … Hardly a drinker decides to become a drinker. He’s made a drinker.

Now fact is that imported alcohol will become more affordable beginning 2010. Expect a wider selection of beers and stronger stuff. I may be able to afford a better bottle of wine once in a while – and Thailand will descend into more chaos because this generation loves alcohol and drunkards will be the leaders of tomorrow. Or not.

We learn that the average consumption of a Thai is 8.47 liters of alcohol per year. That’s the 40th place out of 143 countries worldwide. The world’s average consumption? 6.2 liters per annum. According to the National Publich Health Foundation Thailand is already losing 250 billion baht a year due to alcohol-related health issues. The foundation expects an increase of 16% per year because of cheaper foreign booze about to flood the Thai market.

As with cigarette packs, do we need pictures of drunk driving victims on a bottle of Johnnie Walker? A leading cause of death in Thailand are traffic accidents, half of them are caused by drunk drivers. It’s always a failure of society as a whole when the majority has to pay for the irresponsibility of the minority.

A torn up corpse on a nice bottle of Malbec won’t prevent me from enjoying that fine wine. True that a graphic measure may stop a drunk driver or two from departing for that last fatal trip. But I doubt that I drank a single can less beer just because Thai authorities don’t allow me to buy alcohol in the morning and the afternoon. Once I was really thirsty I just bought 31 cans. That’s over ten liters, and the Kafkaesque law allows anyone to buy alcohol anytime as long as it’s over ten liters …

Ah, maybe no alcohol bottles in New Year’s gift baskets will solve the nation’s alcoholism and related problems. The dear people are reminded that giving alcohol as a gift is the same as cursing someone …

So when Afta comes into effect, you better be ready. Party hard this New Year’s Eve. Use up what’s left in your fridge. 2010’s the year to restock.

While the internal excise tax will be raised to make all booze more expensive again. In order to protect domestic producers and the population (from) itself.

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Finally we see some focused government action in these trying times. Not only the Ministry of Information & Communication Technology is overly active these days to ensure a pure and prosperous society.

We learn that the Ministry of Health “is considering action against alcohol beverage firms that distribute calendars clearly showing their brand names or logos – but with no constructive or educational information of value to society.” Instead they show sexy girls. Wow.

Another Protect-the-Nation’s-Dignity campaign by our puritan leaders. Say thanks to the chosen ones behind the yellow movement who want to ban alcohol altogether. Mens sana in corpore sano. Never mind the endless political bickering and hate. It all comes down to, it seems, loose morals and abounding obscenities in today’s Thai society.

All this place needs is some discipline and we’d be fine.

Sexual stimulation could lead to violence, we read in The Nation article linked above, and authorities are urged to take up the issue seriously with major investors and the public in condemning a certain beer company’s PR moves, that is, women’s movements really.

Who doesn’t like women’s movements – as long as they’re rhythmic.

Hey, it’s all body paint anyway. Mostly.

Beauty, we’re told, can be harmful to your health.

“Enough is enough,” the owners of beer Lao/Singha said, some of the richest people in Thailand. The heiress of the Bhirombhakdi-empire took their cause to Govt House (where she actually works!), we learn from Thai Intelligent News, where they distributed 500 calendars and “pissed off and embarrassed politicians.”

Seems like everyone wanted a calendar. If the commerce minister has a role in this whole thing I hear someone asking? …

But what a turn of events. The PM staffer and Singha heiress resigned … A beautiful woman fighting for the rights of beautiful women. Where can I sign up for a Chitpas Bhirombhakdi fan club?

Before our dear dark ages officials get their way and censor these splendid gifts of nature – the Jessica Alba look-alike’s my fav -, here are some Beer Leo 2010 Body Paint Calendar Girls:

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It’s hard to not notice the Thai passion for food. Most first time visitors to Thailand are impressed with the sight of people cooking along street corners and alleys. The scent of garlic burning in hot oil, the fragrance of sweet sticky rice and mango (khao niauw ma mouang), the activity early morning at a local food market. The love of food does tells you a lot about sanuk, the joie de vivre Thais have. E.g. Thai language is soaked with proverbs regarding food.

A VIP is a sen yai (a big noodle), to camouflage something is pak chee roi nah (to straw coriander) … It seems like the whole country is either cooking or eating. Just like Italians can get poetic about the right olive oil or pasta, Thai people go crazy for the right noodle soup. Thais eat around the clock and travel the country to sample a specific dish. Just like Italians will have their café culture, Thai seem to have a food market culture. A place where people get together to socialize, drink and eat.

What is unique in Thailand is the abundance and wealth of food that’s on offer out in the streets. For a first time visitor the hustle and bustle of the street food is overwhelming. The language is often a barrier, hygiene standards not secure. After living in Thailand for two years I have never been ill from eating out in the streets, I have been I’ll from eating in very posh five star hotels.

By Tom Vandenberghe*

A possible explanation is that a food hawker does not sell a whole menu from A to Z but certain dishes, ingredients are limited to a minimum. A food hawker buys and needs less supply or ingredients then hotels. Of course this is not a genuine rule. In my opinion where there’s a natural buzz, where there’s lots of people eating it s usually safe to eat.

So take a deep breath and dive into Bangkok, one of Asia’s most contrasting and exhilarating metropolises. A first time traveler may find its bustling energy overwhelming at first, but addictive as anything. Amidst its glittering Buddhist temples and magnificent palaces meanders the city’s most secret and unique treasure: local street food, often referred to as the finest on earth.

No other culinary heritage is as rich as Bangkok’s, benefiting from the many cultural influences that immigrants from across Asia brought with them over the centuries. The multitude of flavors provided by fresh tamarind, coconut cream, holy basil, kaffir lime leaves, spicy chillies or fish sauce is a culinary revelation that impresses like fireworks and leaves you punch-drunk with pleasure.

No wonder that numerous travellers have fallen in love with Bangkok. And that is just what happened to me years ago. I visit Bangkok off the beaten track. My initial fascination with the city’s culture and food tradition was so profound, it never left me. Since my maiden trip I returned dozens of times, learned the language and the art of cooking. And I lived there for three years. And never fail to stress how lime, chilli and fish sauce are the three essentials that make Thai cuisine so sparkly and outstanding.

Bangkok street food reveals the city’s hidden world. In an attempt to keep hold of a dwindling tradition, I took up the idea of making a revealing documentary entitled “Bangkok Street Food.” The colorful pages of this book display the bustling multitude of dishes, flavors, cooking methods and local eating habits interlaced with native recipes and back-street secrets. And that with all the enthusiasm a travel guide can possibly show for a city.

People who love to eat but have only a short time in Thailand often end up buying the same dishes over and over, since there’s no real guide book in Thai street food. Pad thai and tom yam kung will be probably in everyone’s top 10. Even the restaurant scene has a parallel circuit in Thailand catering mostly towards tourists. To find the real stuff you have to dig al little deeper. In writing the book “Bangkok Street Food, Cooking & Traveling in Thailand,” I have tried to guide the first time visitor through the maze of street food and Thai cooking.

We categorized the street food by their cooking method (boiled, fried, steamed, …) as the cooking method together with the ingredients (software) is an indication of what will be served at a food stall. At the same time this book is a cooking book with authentic street food recipes. All photography has been done out in the streets, easy enough to recognize certain dishes. As a bonus we mention around 20 authentic street food addresses which we collected during our stay in Bangkok.

I sincerely hope that this book will stimulate people to try different Thai street food, as the heart en soul of Thai street food is out there, ready to be sampled by everyone. Hopefully this book can contribute in trying less obvious dishes as ka moo (stewed pork leg) or khao man gai (chicken en rice). For me the typical Thai ambiance is with friends at a food market. One more beautiful aspect of Thai street food is that even without a budget you can have the best food in the world.

The images are by Luk Thys, an experienced food photographer, esteemed for his contemporary cookbooks and numerous culinary editorials.

Styling is from the hand of Els Goethals, a reputed food stylist much appreciated for her resourceful creativity and author of many health cookbooks.

* “Bangkok Street Food, Cooking & Traveling in Thailand” by Tom Vandenberghe & Eva Verplaetse. Available in English. To order the book contact here.

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That’s right, to this day some things that seem to good to be true still exist. I’m talking about the No Fuss Pizza & Pasta Lunch over at Witch’s Tavern, Thonglor. A whole pizza with a salad prepared by Italian pizzaiolo Francesco. Or a plate of pasta with salad prepared by Italian chef Francesco. For 150 baht the set.

Chief sorcerer Eddie, who also owns Witch’s Oyster Bar over at Ruamrudee, built a new pizza oven especially for Francesco after the arrival of the world-traveling chef a few months ago. What a no-brainer, a pizza handmade by an Italian master who’s insisting on only Italian flour, salt, olive oil and yeast in the dough and a temperature of some 200°C for two minutes in the oven.

There’s a high probability you bump into this pizza lover, BangkokDan, when you give Francesco’s Italian cuisine a go for lunch. The offer is valid from Monday to Friday until 4 pm, so the tavern is your ideal place for a late lunch in peace and quiet before the beer starts flowing and the loudspeakers are turned up. And the prices rise.

Witch’s Tavern started the offer some two months ago and will keep it up, says Francesco. Better take advantage of the pizzaiolo before they change their mind.

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