Thailand Perfects Hold On Power

After a long series of tumultuous coups with blood filling the streets upheaval-rich Thailand has demonstrated in convincing manner that the days of gory changes of power have come to an end. In a most impressive, clinically executed fourth de facto coup against fugitive Thaksin Shinawatra, the Thai kingdom’s disgraced prime minister, Judgement Day on February 26th, 2010, made it once and for all clear that tanks, guns and elections are no longer needed to achieve and maintain power, taking presented democracy to a whole new level.

There may still be some collateral damage along the way, but coups in Thailand are no longer what they once were, due to constant fine-tunings and adjustments in the execution and implementation of thereof. Already the first of the series of coups against authoritarian populist Thaksin on September 19th, 2006, saw tanks decorated with flowers and sexy pom pom girls dancing around soldiers who were smilingly sporting their guns. Even cute female soldiers were stationed at strategic key positions to please the cameras of locals and tourists alike. The world loved this distinctively Thai “flower coup.”

The second coup, the Charter Court’s removing from office of Thaksin’s nominee prime minister Samak Sundaravej in September 2008 on the grounds of his love for cooking, this second coup d’état was a judicial coup that made history even before this stroke of genius hit the headlines. Thailand’s powers that be made the impossible possible by spinning a seemingly irrelevant fact so cunningly that prime ministers around the world stopped cooking immediately.

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March 1, 2010 | Filed Under Culture Shock, Politics, Seriously, Not ..., Society | 4 Comments 

Earful Of Nonsense

There’s much talk in here and in Thailand forums about the kingdom’s culture of propaganda and institutionalized brainwashing. Why are Thai people not allowed to grow up and think for themselves? Which becomes all too obvious when you switch on Thai radio or TV. OK, there are some more decent radio stations, such as 98.5 Good FM with Saturday’s On the Rocks – still airing? But hear hear, when I read the following, I found a soulmate:

I bought an FM radio to listen to while I am jogging and have to tell you that Thailand must have the worst radio stations in the world: 75% of the programing is commercials, silly DJ talking about nonsense, and the official government news – which mandatorily plays on all channels, because if it didn’t, everyone would tune in to the channel that didn’t have it.

Who selects the music? Every half hour by channel surfing I may stumble on one song. On repeated days these were Puff the Magic Dragon (on an adult channel) and When Smokey Sings (I Hear Violins). These tunes are so bad nobody even cares about the copyright.

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January 5, 2010 | Filed Under Culture & Arts, Culture Shock, News & Media, Seriously, Not ... | 20 Comments 

Govt’s Leaked New Year’s Resolutions

Here’s a scoop, but first: A new decade ahead – and with it new hopes and wishes, even though we all know nothing is harder to change than old habits and oneself.

Surprisingly, this New Year’s Eve I forgot to come up with a single resolution for 2010. Simply forgot. Becoming lazy? Because things can only get better?

Can no more quit smoking because that happened years ago. Spending time with the family always was priority no. 1. Fitness? Prefer the sabai-sabai-approach. But there is true need for change. Here are the Thai government’s classified New Year’s resolutions, received from a well-placed source within the circles of Deputy Minister for Vice & Dice, Sombat Mairuulueang, code-named the “Ten 2010 Commandments”:

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January 1, 2010 | Filed Under Culture Shock, Politics, Seriously, Not ..., The Thai Mind | 5 Comments 

Blame The Demon

Exorcizing Thaksin? Why doesn’t the Thai government relocate demons. As irrationality is not uncommon around here. Black magic, demons, the power of Phra Rahu – if you’re familiar with Thailand you’re familiar with the powers that be. They are very real. Which is why twelve “demon statues” at bad-lucked Suvarnabhumi airport believed to have brought bad luck to shopkeepers will be moved. At a cost of one million baht. Why? Suvarnabhumi wanted to become a world’s top ten airport. It is not.

Which is why the guardian spirit statues have to be shifted from the inner zone of the passenger terminal to “improve morale” of people working at the airport, reports the Bangkok Post. Nope, that’s not Not The Nation and neither The Onion, but the honorable Post, reporting that Airports of Thailand (AoT) president Serirat Prasutanond performed in person a Brahmin ritual in the airport terminal before the relocation of the twelve yaksa.

Weren’t baggage handlers at Thailand’s main airport already forced to wear uniforms with pockets sewn to prevent pilfering?! Not to mention the King Power saga that subverted an entire legal system. Police no longer extort tourists and sewn pockets, those and other measures assure an image makeover to put a scandal-plagued past behind – and the morale does not improve? Blame the demons.

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November 11, 2009 | Filed Under Culture & Arts, Culture Shock, Seriously, Not ... | 2 Comments 

In Thailand It’s Real, Halloween

It’s one of those nights I try to avoid. Halloween. Why celebrate death and the macabre when the non-Halloween world got enough of death and the macabre already.

What a nerd. Because the supernatural, ghosts, ghost hunters and such are very Thai and therefore real. That’s what we’re told by this TV report Destination Truth: Ghosts in Thailand further below.

Ghost hunters, ghost traps, headless freaked out ghosts … it’s all here. The trip starts in Khon Kaen and yes, you’ll learn the truth about the legendary Naga serpent. Legend?

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October 29, 2009 | Filed Under Being Farang, Culture & Arts, Culture Shock, Seriously, Not ... | 7 Comments 

Pandaphantitis

Sometimes it takes a panda to save an elephant. Or a mania to point the finger at real issues. So? Just dress up an elephant as a panda and people are actually watching. Watching the plight of the ignored pachyderm. The symbolic animal of Thailand.

See how you’re loved when you’re a panda for one day. Beautiful example of Thai ingenuity and wit. Wouldn’t be surprised if we soon get the Panda Party PP. It’s as clever as telling though to masquerade a problem as a panda:

You most certainly catch the attention of the gone-panda Thai population. Isn’t it amazing how easily you can stir up a mass movement around here. And see? Elephants are mocking the people.

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June 26, 2009 | Filed Under News & Media, Seriously, Not ..., Society, The Thai Mind | Leave a Comment 

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