Policing The Police

Today’s trip down to Hua Hin was smooth as always. The newly extended three lanes highway makes it a pleasure-ride – except for the six minor hiccups we encountered along the way. Six (!) police checkpoints. As if they’d nothing else to do. They mostly took out trucks. And at one point, after Petchaburi, they took out me.

Because I was using the fast lane. Some law suggests that you have to use the inside lane for average cruising. But you know how traffic works around here on highways. Buses use the fast lane without exception. As do the most disintegrated pickup trucks. If you want to move along better never ever leave the “fast” lane.

I should have known better? I swear I was overtaking slower cars that were using the “slower” lanes. The police didn’t care and directed us to stop. Nothing new nor spectacular about it. But I was fuming before before we came to a halt. With the officer reaching us, my defense strategy was properly laid out.

Rule number one: Never hand out your driver’s license. That would be like an admission of guilt. Rather make the most calculating use of being an ignorant farang. Even the surrendering of an international driver’s license would be equal to a confession. Therefore no handing over of any officially looking paper.

As said, my defense was already properly laid out. I wanted to challenge him why he considered me a perpetrator while not one average Joe of the People’s Alliance for Democracy PAD had to fear the police. Or what about that dead protester who was found wrapped in plastic in an abandoned cargo building.

Or Government House’s heavy damages caused by the yellow mob (who now needs psychiatric help).

And police are still debating if they can file charges.

Or the chaos campaign in the name of democracy that hurt tourism harder than the tsunami. And police were standing by amicably even though they had the capabilities. And now they stop me when I’m using the fast lane at a jolly 110 kilometers per hour. Boy was I fuming.

And I was thinking of the two German tourists who were caught in the act and fined 500 baht each for having sex inside an ancient Thai temple. They stopped when the park official, Phaithoon Puengthong, blew his whistle while running toward them. And I wasn’t even driving too fast.

All right, that policeman needed some extra cash. We all know that Thai police even have to buy their own guns and motorbikes. Or you never wondered why not two Thai policemen are using the same type of bike. Another mind-boggling story is the financing of the police’s headquarters in Bangkok.

And I was just trying to get to Hua Hin.

But before I could even utter a first syllable, my wife took over. She loves Abhisit and I honestly don’t want to talk anymore politics in the family. But she was hungry. And wanted to eat lunch. And got stopped by that policeman for a freaking bagatelle. Never stop a hungry Thai.

The mindless nitpicking of the whole situation dawned even on her, as I could pleasurably observe. And there she went ballistic. In her most rude Thai she asked the guy who just tried to get his legitimate share: “What do you want!!!” No, she never heard of anger management.

The policeman was visibly taken aback. After a second “What do you want, he!!!” he simply waved us through. And we left and not many minutes later my dear wife angrily bolted lunch. And I couldn’t stop smiling. Guiltiness and unguiltiness don’t really exist in Thailand. They’re flexible somethings. It all depends on your status, position, tactics.

Reminding me of the recent Post Bag’s Loser takes all:

Forgive me if I’m missing something, but didn’t the Democrats lose the last election? Having them in government will therefore only be the wish of a small minority of Thai people, just like recent PAD protests were the work of, and supported by, only a small minority of Thais. So please remind me again, how is this democratic?

Surely this is a case of the baby screaming loudest getting all the toys?




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December 11, 2008 | Filed Under Being Farang, Politics, The Thai Mind, Travel & Tourism 

Comments

3 Responses to “Policing The Police”

  1. Pete, FrogBlogger on December 12th, 2008 10.49 am

    Ha, absolutelyBangkok, great post, cheered me up immensely. Your wife for PM, she’d sort ‘em all out.
    :-)

  2. Roland on December 14th, 2008 7.13 pm

    Oh, the whining Mark Elliot again! He is wrong when he states “only a small minority of Thai people voted for the Democrats.” In another postbag letter he stated “it is still true the majority of Thai people voted for the PPP.”

    The PPP received 36.8% of the Constituency Vote, and 41.1% of the Party list vote. That’s NOT a majority! That’s why the PPP had to create a coalition with other parties to form a government. The same is true for the Democrats (they received 30.2% and 40.4%, you can’t say that’s “small minority” by any definition!). Nothing undemocratic about that, coalitions are normal in democracies. They are just formed differently in Thailand, the main principle isn’t some party program, it’s just power & money!

  3. Urban Crazy Man on January 11th, 2009 10.42 am

    Hi,

    I know the feelings well you just described. I have lived here about 12 years and have been stopped many times by the boys in brown for nothing more than being on that road at the same time as them. The worst days are Sundays as that’s when my wife notice it more and we call it “collection day” as if they were a set of Hare Krishnas or collectors for Oxfam. But of course we all know where the money goes and it isn’t to starving children in the Sudan!

    I once had a cop stop me at the entrance to Rama4 and Silom (just opp Suan Lum bazaar) and demanded 1,000 baht. I hadn’t even done anything but had stopped as he was stepping into the road to help an old lady cross. When he saw me, he ushered me into a slow lane and then the fun began!

    Like Plato says: “Who will guard the guardians?” (The Republic)

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