Siam, Cradle Of Humankind

In case you missed it, this topic has been briefly touched upon by readers’ comments in the earlier post Earful of Nonsense. Main question arising was – this being Siam – how to gauge the intellect of a people. Now we have proof. Siam is the cradle of humankind.

Forget the Romans, forget the Greeks, forget the origins of mankind in Africa where 32-million-year old fossils of anthropoid primates were discovered. An ancient ape fossil found in a Krabi coal mine links earliest man to Thailand.

“The anthropoidia primates – an order that includes humans like us – might have originated right here in Thailand, the recent discovery of a 35-million-year old Siamese ape fossil has suggested,” we learn from The Nation.

Now this discovery has epochal consequences. Not only have anthropologists to rewrite their encyclopedias. The very elemental questions “Where do we come from? Who are we?” get a whole new dimension.

Tells us The Nation: The “Siamese ape was a highly evolved ancestor of anthropoidia primates” – quoting geologist Dr. Yaowalak Chaimanee that the discovery proved that anthropoidia primates originated and evolved in Asia, contradicting previous theories the anthropoidia primates’ ancestors and apes originated in Africa.

Well, many things and virtues originate in Siam for that, such as sufficiency, 6-hour golf rounds, visa rules, ladyboys, shuffling flip-flops and walking ATMs. Some proudly proclaim Thailand invented the spoon. Oh, and Red Bull and carrying the bus fare in the earhole. And suicide with a plastic bag over the head, handcuffed on the back.

As someone else wrote, Thais invented the art of making fat, butt ugly, hairy, smelly slobs with no life think that they are handsome and important.

One could go on and on.

Why shouldn’t human mankind originate in Siam.




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January 7, 2010 | Filed Under History, Tidbits 

Comments

7 Responses to “Siam, Cradle Of Humankind”

  1. Tweets that mention Siam, Cradle Of Humankind -- Topsy.com on January 7th, 2010 10.26 am

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  2. Leosia on January 7th, 2010 10.44 am

    Certainly, intellectual life in Thailand seems remarkably similar to anthropoidia primates – aka monkey business.

  3. Chdarat on January 7th, 2010 12.03 pm

    This could explain why some Thais show inability to see and appreciate spectrum of colors as well as the inability to hear beyond selected range of interests.

  4. Rich on January 7th, 2010 12.18 pm

    So …

    Let me see if I have this right …

    We are all descended from Thais?

    Fuck me.

    I think I’ll go and open a vein now … :-(

  5. BangkokDan on January 7th, 2010 12.50 pm

    That’s right Rich, basically we’re all Thais. Southern Thais to be exact.

    BangkokDan

  6. KConsciousness on January 7th, 2010 2.14 pm

    I always thought religion was the epitomy of arrogance (assuming that of all the religions, yours is the only correct one and that out of 6.8 billion people on the planet god would even want to listen to your neurotic mumblings). However, Dr. Yaowalak has found a way to make Darwinism equally arrogant.

  7. Jaded on January 7th, 2010 3.38 pm

    I agree KConsciousness.

    I’ve never really understood why people get excited about this sort of thing. If you are stupid enough to reject the theory of evolution in favor of some anachronistic brand of convoluted superstition you may find this news a little disturbing. Otherwise how could a rational person possibly find it significant, one way or another, which particular species of bonobo or chimp we are actually descended from. The question of identifying the precise ancestors of modern man may be of interest to specialists but for the rest of us its just a trivial pursuit question really.

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