Stickman About Stickman

The man needs no introduction. If you know Bangkok but you don’t know Stickman, Bangkok’s nightlife guru, you don’t really know Bangkok. He’s an institution. A hero for many. “Stick” though is no glorification of Bangkok nightlife. Far from it. Stick has a very dark side – a dark and highly cynical side that only gets darker and even more cynical as the years pass by.

Stick couldn’t care less about nightlife. It’s not his passion. Just his job, as he told absolutely in a tell-it-all interview – well, tell-it-nearly-all: “If you can avoid the nightlife areas all together,” says Bangkok’s most famous nightlife columnist, “I think your overall impression of Thailand will be so much better. I truly believe that.”

When I had met Stick for the first time as a friend many years ago, I must confess I didn’t even know about Stickman. Even today his “operation theater” is none of my favorite pastimes. But if you struggle to understand the Thai mind and the darker sides of Thai society, Stick has an advice or two for you. Here we go with his – as Stick puts it – “irreverent look at life in Bangkok”:

Stick, after so many years writing about Bangkok nightlife, aren’t you getting bored?

Very. It does get boring. Because I cover the same stuff over and over again. While some things change, many things actually stay the same. So I tend to write a lot about small details that really aren’t that interesting. For example I might write about a new sign of a go-go bar. Especially now, in the middle of the low season, there is not a lot happening. Sometimes I read what I have written and think: Who wants to read about this. I must produce a column every week. The weekly column is the most read thing on the webpage. I’ve written about 350 columns so far, a column a week since April 2001.

Sounds like a compulsory act. Where’s the passion.

I’ve grown out of it. Writing about nightlife is just a job for me. Once a week I go to a bar – because I have to.

I start feeling depressed …

It’s not only hard not to write about the same thing again and again. It’s also sometimes hard to be positive about things. A lot of what I write about is about the darker side of life. There can be a very negative tone to my column. It’s an opinion, an irreverent look at life in Bangkok.

You seemed to have changed since I first met you …

Oh yes. I came here with an open mind and with a very positive feeling of and about Thailand. But the longer I live here, you know, the harder it is to remain positive. There are many wonderful things about life in Thailand. There are many things here, many many many, that are better here than in the West. But I think the Thai society has deeply engrained problems.

Talk about the human factor.

Most Thais won’t admit to this, only academics talk about it.

Shed some light on this “Thaiish trend of self-destruction”.

I think the hierarchical nature of society causes big problems. It’s an Asian-wide thing. You respect your elders, however, as soon as an older person steps into the room everybody suddenly listens to them and respects them. It’s superficial respect. Deep down they know that that person may not be truly worthy of the respect.

A lost society?

I don’t think that Thai society is going to break up. The younger generation is influenced from many different angles. I think the younger generation takes influences from the older generation, from Thai traditions and from overseas, such as Japan and America, from all around the world. The older generation wants the younger generation to follow the Thai traditions. But that’s only happening to a limited extent. Within the family more Thai traditions prevail. With friends more international ones.

Back to your mission. You’re a hero for many. Whole websites are dedicated to Stickman. Ever had to fend off stalkers?

Yes, there have been a few. About five years ago an Australian tried to extort money from me. He knew something about my background, nothing bad. It wasn’t long after I got married, but I didn’t know who it was. He tried to make life very difficult for me. He, that was a certain Warren Olsen. Another New Zealander. We had tracked this guy’s email and location – and figured out who he was. He was an Australian whom I met when I came here. And I knew this guy is doing a lot of illegal things – illegal visas. So I reminded him of this and asked him if he wanted to broadcast this to the world.

Any more uplifting stalkers? Real fans?

Well … three different people have set up different websites about me, trying to expose me, my life, and it’s crazy, all three were people I didn’t even know. All three simply disagreed with what I wrote. The problem is, there are a lot of people out there like that. You don’t get the best Westerners in Thailand. Even if you sit in a five-star hotel, these are not the best Westerner you’ll see. This is one of the downsides of having a profile here. You attract interest from people who are not as balanced as the average Westerner.

Ever again heard of NotStickman?

Yeah, he’s now facing a court battle with an American real estate agent. I don’t know what’s happening, it doesn’t concern me. That’s how I really feel. It’s between those two, but I think neither will win, they’ll both lose.

NotStickman and the other grudgers driven by jealousy?

That’s a big part of it. And envy. I’ve had some people even get very very upset when I turned down their invitation for a beer. They would come back and be totally abusive. Imagine if you meet somebody like that. These are questionable people. In the past I used to meet a lot of people. Now I am very selective. Maybe once a week I meet someone. I’ve met too many people I didn’t like. People who are here for sex only. See, I write a website that covers the nightlife industry. But I don’t participate. That’s the funny part. People can’t understand that I’m not out there enjoying everything Bangkok has to offer.

So your whole life is dominated by something you couldn’t care about less.

What’s the fascination of the nightlife? There’s no fascination anymore. None whatsoever. I write about it because that’s what the readership wants. It’s a niche. Besides I do bar girls investigations. A lot of guys fall in love with bar girls. They want to know if the girl is faithful or not.

You must know the facts. How faithful are they?

I can tell you exactly. 85% are unfaithful. 10% are undetermined. And 5% are faithful. That’s it. Take this: Sometimes you find girls who get money from six or seven men. The average amount per month is 40,000 baht per man. With bar work, at the very top, they can make over 300,000 baht a month.

This line of work ever got you in real danger?

My radar is pretty good. If a job is questionable, if it feels bad or wrong, I don’t do it. Some people want to know things that are very hard to find out. If I’m not confident of carrying it out professionally, I dont do it. Some want to seek revenge. I will not enter a situation like that.

With how many bar girls did you fall in love?

With not one. Never. But in the early days it was a safe way to meet a good decent Thai girl over the internet. Computers were much more expensive than now. Most websites and programs were in English. So the girls using the websites had money and spoke good English. Nowadays, there are many dating websites in Thai. Computers are very cheap. Internet cafés are very cheap, so any women can use the online environment. In the past you got middle class and up over the internet. Today, it’s anyone. If you meet a girl today over online dating she may be very similar to the bargirl. That doesn’t mean she’s bad. But she has an average education, poor English and a poor family that needs to be supported. So her goals and objectives are similar to many bar girls.

Young Stickman is long gone, Bangkok made you change.

I’m harder today. I am less tolerant. Less patient. I am really cynical about life in Thailand and am very very cynical about the chances a foreigner has of being successful in Thailand. I think you need a combination of certain skills, tolerance and luck to be successful here – be it love, work, even just to be happy. I think a lot of people here, their happiness is like eating junk food. A lot of people here do things that make them happy for a very short time. But if you want to be happy long-term it takes much more work than you realize. A lot of guys are happy because sex is readily and affordably available. But that only makes you happy for half an hour.

Give me the exception that proves the rule.

There are many many foreigners that are doing well here. But I have little respect for them. Many are respected by foreigners and Thais. I could give you names and backgrounds of people that are nice – and I get tons of complaints about them. If you knew what they were doing you would just shake your head. People have lost their live savings because of very respected people here.

You saved quite some lives by warning and informing about dangers here.

I think I have saved some lives, especially when it comes to relationships. But I also think I scared some people away when they could have had a successful relationship. But I scared them.

Never thought about having your own dating agency? You know them all, the girls, the buyers …

Thought about it, but I think I don’t have the skills to make it work. I’m a purist. If I do something I like to think I can do it properly. If not, I will not take someone’s money. You’ve got to be sure you can meet the expectations.

The most important lessons Thailand taught you?

I’m in my 11th year here. Learn the Thai language to a level as good as you can. And don’t invest money in Thailand that you can’t afford to lose. Even property. Don’t put money into Thailand, in any form. I truly believe that. There are so many issues. Just getting money out of the country, a large sum, can be very difficult. Try sending out a few millions of baht.

Would you still emigrate to Thailand if you’d known back then what you know today?

Yes. I had good times. I had bad times. But the good times easily outweigh the bad times. It’s been a good adventure. A big adventure. I’ve met people from every corner of the world. I have learned the Thai language to a very high level. I successfully managed and kept going a very high profile website – and I met some wonderful women. And I think I’ve learned so much more than if I had stayed back in New Zealand. When I was twenty I went to the UK. The plan was to stay there for two years. But I got homesick after six months and went back to New Zealand. Thailand has been my overseas experience done properly. And the UK is very easy. And I failed. But I succeeded here.

An an old Bangkok hand, what’s a must-do here?

A must-do is the buffet at the Sheraton Grande. I love it there. I love good food. There are many wonderful restaurants in Bangkok, especially wonderful Italian restaurants. But I really like the buffet at the Sheraton Grande. For newbies I recommend to spend time on the ground. Walk, explore, see what you see, talk to people, walk away from the areas where tourists are and you’ll have a great time. Away from the tourist areas most people will have very few problems. Away from the tourist areas Thai people can be very gracious hosts. A typical Thai wants foreigners to have a good impression of Thailand. In the tourist areas you don’t meet the nicest people.

Must-avoid in Bangkok?

Good question. If you can avoid the nightlife areas all together, I think your overall impression of Thailand will be so much better. I think many of the problems are found in the nightlife areas. If you can avoid those areas you really will have a better impression of life in Thailand. I truly believe that.

Visit Stick’s StickmanBangkok