The Psychology Of Thai Women

Ever felt outrun by the mind of a Thai woman?

Ever tried to argue with a Thai woman – but had to give up in despair?

Because there is no arguing with a Thai woman. Period.

Here’s a short field manual of how to master the exotic mind of Thai women and be able to lead a happy life.

Bottom line is: A Thai woman’s mind is working in other structures. You yourself may try to follow a logical line of thought, such as: “But teerak, you did this, but back then, I told you clearly that …”

The dear Thai woman though constantly and consciously loses the plot, changes the subjects and confronts you with charges you considered buried generations ago.

Leaving you speechless. Because there is no arguing with a Thai woman.

Because, according to the classic school of Western thought, your arguing requires a discipline of thought. A Thai woman’s mind though only obeys her own instincts and preferences. Jumping from here to there and up and down – which has something refreshing!

In the West, all you and your partner do all the time is arguing. Not so in Thailand. Because there’s simply no point in it.

But don’t give up on it yet if you need the challenge.

You can beat a Thai woman’s mind with her own weapons. Simply play along her line of incoherent arguments and accusations out of the blue. If done well, she will soon smile at you and be proud of you, as it never crossed her mind that a farang can conquer the female Thai mind.

You just earned the respect and trust of a lioness defending you.

What, by the way, would the country be without its women, this highly productive, intelligent and clearly less lazy better half of society.

You don’t have to become a yes-man to be able to live alongside a Thai woman. It goes without saying though that being a yes-man would solve most potential problems, as most problems would never occur by you saying “yes” all the time.

Or as my wife tried to educate me: “You’d be the perfect husband if your only word would be yes.”

A most poisonous word in the context of a partnership with a Thai woman therefore is “no.”

Hands off that word. Use it with utmost care. It can only be applied in rare cases, when there is no other way out, or if life alongside that Thai woman has become a question of pure existentialism.

But give the power of the word yes a try. Give that Thai woman the illusionary piece of mind that effectively she is the master over all the tiny little issues of everyday life. In the grand course of things though – as you soon will observe – she will give in much more often to a yes- than to a no-man.

There are other simple truths about the coexistence of a Western and a Thai mind – as the mind is the operative point determining our very own existence and appearance; of your capability to interact with another person.

Forget about the bondages or race and blood. It’s your mind telling you who you are and what you’re capable of.

A simple truth therefore to make the coexistence of a Western and a Thai mind possible is to refrain from giving your heart to a bar girl.

I know, how can you resist those feral, freaking lovely, willowy, shy and maiden-like beings with long glossy lack hair in their carnal availability.

Life with a bar girl simply doesn’t work.

During my humble many years over here in the kingdom of the free and the beauties I haven’t come across a single marriage that worked between an upright Western guy and such a dream girl.

Can submit you though a long list of well functioning marriages between normal working people from different continents.

Because a bar girl – and I am not judging about their goodness or not – you invite too many hidden stories you can never unwind.

Many in the bar biz have regular jobs though, they just want to supplement their income or have some extra cash for that new handbag.

Only some of their families know about the source of the easy or not-so-easy money.

But most of the girls have no other viable means of surviving – and have to bring a sibling through college or help daddy financing that new house or car. And the brother wants a new motorcycle and mom that fridge.

Most of the working girls have a kid already by a Thai father who skipped town and was not seen ever again. Most of the girls curse Thai men – and don’t trust farang who can speak Thai, as it’s like giving away something to a stranger.

Just don’t fool yourself: Many of these Thai cuties winding themselves around shiny metal poles are anyway “taken care of” already by farangs. They get regular deposits in their bank accounts by kind lovers abroad.

You could dig and dig – and never come to an end.

You, as a farang, will never be able to unwind the most complex net of dependencies and motives behind a Thai girl working in the milieu.

As you, as a Western person, are born and grown up in a culture of words. You trust words. If somebody tells you: Yes, you take it as a: Yes.

If somebody tells you: No, you take it as a: No.

In the realm of the Thai sirens – and Thai society for that – there is no distinctive meaning to any word. Yes can as well mean no, as body language and tonal shadings add to the meaning of the word that was really intended.

Easy to understand for Thais. Quite hard to grasp for Westerners.

Hence, in the bar world of the excess supply of love, that insurmountable misconception is working for both parties: Expat exploits girl, girl exploits expat. As the woman sells whatever she has for whatever she needs and wants.

A Thai lady of different stand though who has nothing to hide is a whole different game.

Having learned a foreign language she’s accustomed already to foreign thought.

“You can talk with her,” as a friend once said, “about a simple bean soup without having to involve the whole changwat for her to understand.”

Just be aware: As with all offsprings of an Asian race Thai women are driven by considerable love and dedication for their own values and people, whatever social class they come from.

You are and will always be an outsider – but can be a welcome one, as outsiders have always be welcomed by Thais. If it was to the advantage of the Thais.

Fact though remains: Be content with a superficial acceptance by Thais.

Don’t ask for more.

Don’t try to dig too deep into the Thai mind. It will save you many troubles.

Thais for themselves don’t dig to deep into their minds and souls. Which explains why there are hardly any psychologists over here, let alone psychiatrists.

As mind and thoughts are too hard to grasp. And commercialize. Too much thinking is anyway exhausting and easily gives the Thai woman a headache.

Thais are, as they are. Especially the women. They need food at an exact time of the day and have to hear the word yes once in a while. If those two basic conditions are not fulfilled, you face hell.

If you’re a reliable provider of food and love to say the words “dai krup, dai kruup,” you’re in heaven with a Thai woman.

With – again – a best part being: There is no point anymore in arguing.

As our seemingly logical way of arguing simply doesn’t work over here.

How many nights of my life, if not weeks or months, had I lost in the West due to arguing with a girl.

Gone are those days. No need anymore to explain too much.

Just take things as they are.

Or, without a word, walk away from them.

Just as the Thai woman would do.